Video footage - how to catch a child's abuser.

The majority of people wouldn’t know what signs to look out for that their child is being sexually abused. ‘It wouldn’t happen to my child’ we tell ourselves, ‘They’re only ever with family who look after them, so I don’t need to educate myself.’ and ‘My child would tell me if someone abused them.’

Many of us wouldn’t even entertain the likelihood of the other parent being capable of sexually abusing their child. It wouldn’t even register as a possibility. People who sexually abuse their own children are surely very rare, aren’t they? They’d be strange and easy to spot and you’d get a bad vibe from them...right? Wrong!

Our pre-conceptions of paedophiles can often be a far cry from the stark reality. They are not the deviant weirdos hanging around in rain coats. They are living amongst us, sleeping in the same bed, lending us an ear when we need support. The huge majority of child sex abuse is perpetrated by someone close to the child, such as a relative or close family friend. Those statistics are undeniable.

It is the most insidious of crimes, the most horrific of crimes and yet one of the most difficult to spot.

The fact of the matter is that symptoms of sexual abuse in children can often be mistaken for other things. Parents can often be ‘in a spin’ trying to find out what is wrong with their child, but looking in all the wrong places. Many of us have who have had perfect childhoods would not recognise the signs of abuse. Most of the symptoms are behavioural and emotional and not physical.

Here are just some of the many signs that your child is being sexually abused:

(Please note that these are the signs to look out for. The child may or may not have disclosed anything at this point, as most children are too terrified to speak out)

Fear of being left with a person

Crying frequently for no apparent reason

Disturbed sleep, nightmares

Bedwetting

Eating problems

Poor performance at school, problems concentrating

Drowsiness after spending time with a person

Frequent tummy aches and headaches

Anger

ADHD type symptoms

Attachment problems - won’t leave the side of the safe parent

Clicking jaw (sign of oral rape)

Child reporting that they ‘wee’d out of their bum’ after spending time with a person

Loss of control of bowels, when way past potty training age and no other explanation for it such as diarrhoea

Sexualised behaviour

Very disturbing episodes of behaviour that the child has no memory of afterwards (can be a sign of severe trauma or the effects of being administered with date rape drugs)

Disclosures of abuse

If you’re reading this list and recognising some of these symptoms in your child, you need to something. To not act could be potentially fatal. At the very least you could spend a lifetime living in regret and despair when it’s too late. Even the usual body safety talks won’t make any difference in some cases where the abuser threatens the child into silence, with threats to kill the other parent/parents/pets etc.

What can you do?

1. The most important thing by far is to carry out surveillance (voice recorders, or a hidden spy camera). These devices are easy to find on the internet and very discreet.

2. Encourage your child to have a close relationship with their teacher/teaching assistant. Teach your child to tell their teacher if they have any problems or are worried about anything.

A few facts about family court and the police.

Family court fail to take disclosures by children to their parents and family with any seriousness. In fact they will often turn it against them;

Police only charge a small number of sex offenders and courts only convict a very small percentage of sex offenders;

Family court have a track record of placing children into the care of the parents who abused them;

Family court often ban any contact whatsoever with the safe parent, as a means of punishing them;

Family court ignore solid evidence and will accuse you of the very crime that the other parent has committed, leaving the children in a desperate situation.

The solution for a conviction is solid, undeniable evidence in the form of video footage.

If you suspect a child/children is being abused, please act before the family court gets their hands on them and hands them back into the care of their abuser or their abuser's family.